My leisurely summer vacation continues.
Watched Three's Company last night at three a.m. after delicately kicking out the naked man I had in my kitchen.
What does the naked man have to do with being a nanny, you ask? He assured me, after consuming a great deal of ruby red grapefruit juice enhanced with vodka that, "You are f***ing amazing. You'll find a job in no time. Don't sweat it."
When I start letting a nude man in white socks holding his package in one hand and a generic bottle of vodka in the other boost my self-esteem, I am in trouble.
Anyway. I sat on the couch eating a granola bar and watching Three's Company at three in the morning. After kicking out Naked Dude. After consuming a six pack of PBR. After checking my email for the 17986th time. Waiting for that perfect email...
Dear Potential Nanny,
We want you!! We are looking for someone to start ASAP. We have a newborn baby who is already sleep trained and has a perfect dispostion. We would like to hire you for 40 hours a week, with
every Friday off. My husband and I both work far from the the house, so we would NEVER make surprise visits home in the middle of the day and catch you eating crackers dipped in a can of condensed soup on the living room floor. We pay handsomely, with four weeks of paid vacation to be taken at your discretion. No housekeeping will be required, as we have a full time housekeeper. We live in a fun, dynamic part of the city, with abundant parks and coffee shops. We would never ask you to back the family SUV down the narrow loading dock of a department store to pick up a 200 p
ound piece of granite, bring it back to our home, and somehow find a way to unload it by yourself.* We are always punctual, and on the rare occasion we are late, you will be paid time and a half for your troubles. We hope you will be a fit for family!
We want you!! We are looking for someone to start ASAP. We have a newborn baby who is already sleep trained and has a perfect dispostion. We would like to hire you for 40 hours a week, with
every Friday off. My husband and I both work far from the the house, so we would NEVER make surprise visits home in the middle of the day and catch you eating crackers dipped in a can of condensed soup on the living room floor. We pay handsomely, with four weeks of paid vacation to be taken at your discretion. No housekeeping will be required, as we have a full time housekeeper. We live in a fun, dynamic part of the city, with abundant parks and coffee shops. We would never ask you to back the family SUV down the narrow loading dock of a department store to pick up a 200 p
ound piece of granite, bring it back to our home, and somehow find a way to unload it by yourself.* We are always punctual, and on the rare occasion we are late, you will be paid time and a half for your troubles. We hope you will be a fit for family!Ok, is that so much to ask? As soon as I get that email, things will be great.
In all honesty, it wouldn't take all of those things to make me happy. I feel I am at an advantage; I will be interviewing potential families as much as they will be interviewing me. I have prioritized my list of needs for my next job. I have had some interest from some great families, and have gone on a few interviews.
It will happen. I will find the perfect fit.
Right?
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